Top Down Approach

I was talking to a friend today who asked me a very good question.

"Matt, where do you start looking when you are trying to come to a conclusion about this Same Sex Marriage thing, or anything other issue?"

Wow, glad you asked. At the end of the day my answer is the same of any issue, whether it's about marriage, sex, pornography, gambling, finances, parental roles, giving, whatever.

I said to him, "I start with a top down, big picture, 20,000ft view of what is going on in the Bible. What is the real story that is going on?"

I explained further, "You must understand what the Bible is about, who it's about, and why it's written to/for us."

The Bible is a book with one main character (God) and one main supporting character (man). Now I can go in a lot of directions from here, but I won't. That's for another day. But to continue our conversation.

"The Bible is about God and man. So a big picture approach to the Bible is to look at 1. What were we originally created for/to do? 2. Why? 3. What happened with sin? 4. What did God do about it? 5. What is our response? 6. And what is going to happen when we go home to be with Him someday. Essentially, What is all of this pointing toward?

He created us to reflect  His Glory to His creation and for us to reflect back to Him the praise and worship from his creation. He created us male and female and gave them both characteristics of him. The marriage of man and woman created an image of the invisible God to all of creation. We were created to be priests and rulers over God's new creation and bring it under our rule and authority. (But not in the way that we think of rule and authority today). That's the Why answer. Sin entered the picture and messed it all up. But even before it happened God had a redemption plan in place to restore things to the way they were and the way they are supposed to be. He did this through His son Jesus Christ and his death and resurrection on the cross. Even in our sin God works in unfathomable ways so that he gets the glory. By embracing Jesus as Lord and Savior, and that He rose from the dead we are now his heirs and His adopted children. But Paul goes on to say that the church (all people who proclaim Jesus is Lord) is like a bride and Jesus is the bridegroom. He uses the analogy to say that if you want to see a picture of Jesus and his relationship with His church, then look at a married couple. Sure, even happily married couples have flaws, but guess what, so does the "church" today. Warts and all He loves us and gave Himself up for us.

So, after we've said yes to Jesus, He is working in our hearts to change us into the people he created us to be in this life and the next. He's grooming us for the next life. We are to partner with Him to bring about his kingdom which is here and now and prepare for the coming of His Kingdom which is not yet. Let me say this again, He is changing us, redeeming us, molding us into the people He originally created us to be, before the fall. He's putting things back in order and he's allows us and expects us to be a part of the journey.  We are to participate in the Kingdom that is now in preparation for the Kingdom that is to come.

When we go home to be with Him we will experience no more sorrow or tears, no pain or suffering, we will have new bodies that won't fall apart or breakdown. He's redeeming us and putting everything back the way it was supposed to be. And we will worship and praise Him for it. All glory be to our God and Father. Amen.

So, back to the question that we started with. "Where do I start any issue from?" It's with the beginning and end in mind. The Bible starts with a marriage and ends with a marriage in Revelation. The big picture allows me to filter all sorts of information then.

We can get lost trying to figure out if alcohol is a sin, or what being modestly dressed means. Same goes for trying to understand issues like marriage, sexuality, Same Sex Marriage, pornography and so on.  If you only spend time down at ground level you're going to end up confused. Don't start trying to understand your faith from the ground up. Get big picture and work your way down. Start with who we were originally created to be and end with the understanding that God is going to put all back together the way He originally planned. It's a lot easier to answer the other questions in life when we understand that. 

Speak Out Boldly and Confidently

Speak up, don't be afraid.

It's time for Christians to stop defending themselves as being intolerant and focus on what is actually happening. We can't be distracted from what is actually going on in our culture and at the SCOTUS today. We must speak up for truth and what is right. Don't be timid, don't be afraid, don't let the "intolerance" rhetoric stop you from standing up for what is good and right and honorable. We were not given a spirit of fear or timidity, but given a spirit of power, love, and self discipline. Jesus says do not fear those who can kill body but not the soul. Fear Him who is able to destroy both body and soul in Hell. Look toward the future, the promises of God await those who seek him.

American Christians today are weak when it comes to standing up for what is right. We shrink away from confrontation. I'm not advocating physical altercations, but I'm saying get off the sidelines on the issues at the forefront of society today. Get in the game, speak truth in love, extend grace, but not at the expense of truth. Put your pads on and say something. If you want to change the world then you're going to have to say something, if not your silence says volumes.

Let me explain the logic and reasoning of the vast majority of Americans who support Gay marriage (this includes Christians). The thinking goes like this, "I don't care what they do. They don't bother me, I don't bother them. If they love someone, I don't care if they want to marry them." That's it. That's as far as the conversation in their head goes. Uh, Houston, we have a problem.

Most people in our society haven't critically thought about this issue. They just plain haven't and do you know how you can prove this? If the topic comes up, see if the conversation gets past the reasons I stated above. Then once that's said, you say your piece about your position on SSM. If they accuse you of being intolerant or insensitive or traditional then you have your answer. It then moves from an intellectual argument to one of emotion and feeling. That's not an argument, it's a tantrum that we as Christians must recognize and avoid defending ourselves as people who aren't intolerant or traditional, or insensitive.

The trouble with too many Christians is that they haven't thought the issue through either, so they give up the discussion once they are labeled intolerant. Jesus followers get into your Bible, read, read, read. That's the only way you're going to be able grasp the magnitude of this issue fully. Think with the mind that Christ has given you. "Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming." Ephesians 4:14

If you want somewhere to start on this issue, read this...
http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2012/07/19/gay-is-not-the-new-black/

Flat Tires

I'm in sales and work out of my home. The other day I was sitting in my office talking to a customer when I had to pause the conversation due to one of my kids interrupting me. I told my customer that Jen was out running some errands. He proceeded to ask me if I was "babysitting" the kids. I laughed and sort of blew it off. Then the other night, Jen and I had a conversation about our roles and I realized that maybe the way we view our responsibilities in our home are vastly different than what our culture says is acceptable or the norm. It was that realization that brings me back to my customer's question, his question signifies a change in our culture as to the roles of husbands and wives. So what is different?

A babysitter is someone who cares for the kids when the parents are not at home. They are not responsible for teaching children right from wrong or how to clean their rooms. I should never view or treat my time alone with my kids as if I'm babysitting them. They are my kids and I am not their babysitter. But the "babysitter" attitude is what I hear from many men today when they reference being alone with their children. Something is wrong here and it's not just the view that husbands are babysitters, it also has to do with the way husbands love or don't love their wives with their children watching.

I heard a friend give an analogy about the way we and our society begin to accept things that are really unacceptable. He said imagine a time when all cars drove around on flat tires. As inefficient as flat tires are, if everyone drives around on flat tires long enough eventually it will start to become normal and no one will seem to think anything is wrong. Flat tires are the new norm. I think husbands who don't share the parenting responsibilities and care for the health of their wives are flat tires. Delinquent fathers are the norm. I believe the bar is set so low for husbands these days that since flat tires are the norm it's easier to hide in the crowd than it is to put some air in your tires. The bar is low because I don't believe most men believe it is their responsibility to provide an environment that contributes positively to their wives' health.

 

Ephesians 5 talks about how a husband and wife are to reflect the relationship of Christ and his bride, the church. The husband is supposed to love his wife like he loves his own body. He doesn't neglect his body but feeds it and cares for it just as Christ does the church. So if you neglect your wife's needs you are neglecting your own body. Which explains why the bar must be raised.


If your wives stay home or work and then come home and "work", they are going to need a break. They need to be alone, with other women, out for a cup of coffee, at the gym, on a shopping trip, or taking a nap. Maybe all of that in one day. Husbands generally seem to have more freedom to do the things they want than their wives, so we must make margin in our lives to encourage them to do this. I don't know too many husbands who disagree with this, but how many times do they leave the home without you copping an attitude about when she'll be home or showing some sort of frustration at having to watch your children by yourself for a small amount of time? In the words of Mike Golic, "Stop it".

Husbands, get over yourselves, it's not that bad, you're a dad, you signed up for this when you had kids. Be a man, grow a set, and take pleasure in that fact that you are serving your wife in a way that she'll deeply appreciate. Show your children something that their classmates may never see.

I've always said I have the easy job, I get to go to work everyday. My wife has the hard job of being with the kids all day. Even if she works outside the home, she needs time to recharge. You must give that to her, without attitude or any sign that you are unhappy or not okay with her getting away. By showing that attitude you rob her of the benefits of being able to recharge. Shame on us.

While she's out being refreshed and rejuvenated, clean up the kitchen, pick up the toys, unload and load the dishwasher, give the kids a bath, and make the house a better place than it was when she left. She's going to be more likely to accept your offer to go out or take a nap if she knows that she'll not have more work when she gets up or comes home. If you function as a flat tire she'll not enjoy being away because she knows she'll have more work when she gets home or wakes up. Make an effort because she'll appreciate it and so might you later on. :)

It is unacceptable for married men to shirk their parenting responsibilities as well as their responsibilities to their wives because it's easier to be a flat tire than a fully functional air filled tire. Watch out because your kids will see you as a flat tire and think that is normal, and if they grow up thinking flat tires are normal you can bet that when they have their own families they'll function like flat tires too. Let's raise the low bar that society has set for being husbands and fathers and show our children what it means to love our wives and what it looks like to be a real man. Demand excellence from yourselves and it will pay positive dividends that will last for generations.